March 17, 2022

Stay Conversations

Topic: 
Ownership Culture
Authors: 
Jon Sweigart, MSS
Photo by Amy Hirschi on Unplash
Here are a couple of assumptions about talented people:

• They have options in the marketplace and leave because they can
• They come for the work and stay for the relationships that support their development
• Their relationship with their supervisor, manager, and/or leader is often the relationship that "glues" talented people to the organization
• Exit interviews occur too late to do anything about retaining talented people
• Leaders, managers, and supervisors who know why talented people stay are well-positioned to influence many of the factors related to retention
• Periodic "Stay Conversations" are a proactive retention strategy

People Leave Twice

Disengagement – mentally and emotionally "checking out" -- often precedes actual departures. Be alert to stressful life events as they can trigger people to reassess their work and disengage. If you notice changes in someone's engagement level, ask about it with respect, care, and curiosity.

Be Clear About How Your Relationship Offers Value

Many companies have value propositions on which supervisors, managers, and leaders need to deliver. What unique value does your organization offer employees? How does your relationship deliver on that value?

State Your Purpose Clearly: We Want You to Stay

You can begin a stay conversation with some variation of: "I want to talk with you so I can understand the most important reasons you have stayed with us. I know that talented people like you have options. As long as you continue to perform and contribute at the level you have demonstrated, I want you here for a long time."

Focus on What You Can Control

Some variation of: "I would like to know what I can do to strengthen or create the conditions that will keep you here. There may be some things I can make recommendations about, but I can't change directly. Other things I can do more about. I'd like to know what's most important to you regardless of whether I can change it or not, and I will be listening especially for those things I can change or influence."

Money

For some people, money is a strong motivator and may be the main reason for leaving. Be prepared to address requests for greater compensation as directly and accurately as you can by clarifying your role and your company's process. Don't promise anything you cannot deliver.

Broaden Awareness

Some people just want/need a paycheck and that is their primary motivation for working. For others, if you pay them fairly, less tangible things like a purpose, autonomy, skill development, new challenges, advancement opportunities and community are motivators at work – all conditions that you may have authority to influence directly. To discover a person's motivation, you can ask:
• How did you first decide to take a job at our organization? How important are those reasons now?
• When you are doing your best or most enjoyable work, what's happening?
• What parts of your job are most challenging?
• Some people like frequent change and new opportunities for more responsibility. Others prefer more stability and the opportunity to get really good at what they do without taking on more responsibility. What are your preferences at this point in your work? (Revisit this periodically. Appetite for growth can change as life conditions change.)

Use Active Listening

Summarize what you heard and check for accuracy. Some variation of: "So, based on what you shared with me, let me make sure I understand the most important reasons you stay here and the conditions under which you do your best work."

Ask About Leaving

Some variation of: "Thanks for helping me understand what keeps you here. Let me ask you a similar question from another perspective: what are specific reasons that would cause you to look elsewhere and possibly leave us?"

Summarize Again, Responding According to the Following:

• Stay/leave reasons are within your direct influence or authority. Address these reasons on the spot. "Let me work with you on a more flexible schedule. Please send me days of the week that you would like more flexible time and we'll meet to finalize an agreement."
• Stay/leave reasons are beyond your direct influence or authority. "Our policy regarding promotion is… the best way for you to get a promotion is… it's unlikely that a promotion will occur in the next 6 months. I will do all that I can to be sure you attain the qualifications you need to be considered for that position." Whatever you say must be candid, accurately reflect policy, and be consistent across other conversations.
• Stay/leave reasons are more complex. "The best I can do immediately is investigate what is possible. Let's schedule a conversation for next week when I can share with you what I find out."

Help People Leave Well

If it's clear that an employee has made a final decision about leaving and you cannot do anything about it, then shift the conversation to leaving well. Be careful to manage any defensiveness you might feel about losing an employee in whom you have made a significant investment. Put forth a process that will support a departure yet "leaves the door open" for a return or, at the very least, increases the likelihood that the departing employee will speak well of you and the company. End on a

Positive Note

"Thanks for sharing your perspective with me. I consider it my job to do what I can to create conditions where talented people like you can do their best work and in ways that are meaningful to them. Please let me know if you think of anything else."

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